Blue Light Special

if not

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 17:37:43 GMT

Damn if I'm not pregnant then I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me…my period was massively late and that’s why I thought I was pregnant but I also had the nausea, fatigue, headaches, and frequent urination…not to mention crazy emotions...I don’t know…
Of course I'm glad that I'm not because I was really scared of what It might do to my SO and I. I was terrified of losing him. But I just want to know what the hell is up with my body.

~Micro~

Blood

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 13:47:55 GMT

So I got my period today…at least that’s what I think the blood is from… Anyway, I’m extremely happy, but also slightly disappointed…I don’t know.

~Micro~

Saylor Lynn

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:47:07 GMT

So I spent last night at the hospital because Traci (my cousin) was having her baby. Her daughter, Saylor Lynn (that’s not a typo it is Saylor with an ‘S’), was born around 11:30pm and she weighed 6 pounds and 13 ounces. She was a very beautiful baby. While I was in the waiting room before she had Saylor I was on the phone with my SO and of course we were talking about me being pregnant, well actually the subject came up and I was talking about it the later he was like sorry I was ignoring you. I was so pissed I had to fight back tears. I managed to get of the phone before I broke down crying. I think that was one of the worst feelings I have ever felt. He called back later and apologized but I was too pissed so I was just like whatever. This morning I forgave him, but when I think about it I just want to cry again.

~Micro~

emotions are going haywire

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 18:48:32 GMT

My life is really sucking right now. I'm ridiculously depressed and I'm trying so hard to hide it but I’m not doing a very good job. So anyway, I was running errands for my boss when my mother calls and is telling me that my cousin (whom I very close with) just went into labor, so while I'm talking to her I'm driving along with the flow of traffic when I get pulled over. The cop said I was speeding but why then did no one else get pulled over I was behind, in front of and next to many cars going the same speed as me.
For a visual all the / are random cars and the m is me.
I was in the freaking middle how did the cop pick me out of all those cars.
/ / / / /
/ / / /
/ m / /
/ / / /

Anyway so I started balling after he gave me the ticket. It was probably a friend of the cop that had a crush on me that I turned down. But my fucking emotions are going haywire. And then I’m trying to get back to the office, making sure I'm going the speed limit and people are passing me like fucking crazy and some guy has the gull to roll down his window and yell at me and call me a fucking cunt. Normally that wouldn’t bother me I would just flick him off and be on my way but because every thing seems to make me cry this week I started balling again.

~Micro~

Names

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 14:13:40 GMT

So, I have been thinking about names for my baby and these are some of the names I liked.

GIRLS</div>
Serenity
Harmony Grace
Melody Joy
Pascal
Analiese

BOYS</div>
Grant
Duncan
Doran

What do you think???

~Micro~

SSDD

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 13:48:20 GMT

Another day and I'm still without my period.

~Micro~

semi-attached

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 17:13:54 GMT

Is it a bad thing that I'm not even sure that I'm pregnant yet but I'm already semi-attached to the child that might be growing inside me????

~Micro~

Another day and still no period.

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 13:22:04 GMT

My SO and I have been talking a little bit about our options if I am pregnant. We will defiantly be keeping my baby if I am, because we are both very anti-abortion. I’m just scared because I want to be able to give my child the best of everything. I guess we will just have to make it up as we go along.

~Micro~

Terrified

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 19:41:30 GMT

I think I'm pregnant

~Micro~

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 17:23:20 GMT

Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you

And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now I can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
I never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there’s just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

-crossfade